my mind, a sky. my thoughts break and tumble down, like rain.
i lie in the dark, drenched in thought. alone.
i listen to the sound of night. it is a quiet time.
the sea beckons. she is mourning. the waves of her long arms stretch, beseech and grapple at the long-suffering shoreline. i hear her wail, i feel her loneliness and resignation. but she is bitter and cruel.
my thoughts distract, the waves retract and return. that sound. that sound.
the flow of my thoughts, broken by that sound. they break like the waves that break the bay. there is solace in those waves; i remember how it feels to be cradled by the sea.
jumbled and tumbled, these thoughts wash up on the shore of the fore of mind. thoughts, like flotsam and jetsam, spewing into the night.
i can feel my body sink into the cool, crisp cotton of my bed. soon…
an owl. i hear an owl. i picture him – his soft feathered breast and wide, unblinking amber eyes.
street light fills my room, everything is golden.
the sea-breeze drifts in through the open window. dulcet chimes softly herald its arrival. it toys with my hair and releases a scent. the comfort and spice of oud. the comfort of a fragrance my lover made for me.
it takes me to him.
he is not here with me tonight. he is in the city. but we share the same sky, always. i take solace in that he and i can see the same moon.
oh the moon. she looks beautiful tonight. do you see her, my love?
tonight she is but a slip of silver; a sliver of platinum pinned to a black velvet sky. stars, like diamonds, stud the very fabric of our existence, connect and map. past, present and future unified.
i trace the map, with my fingers, as if it were his face. it is clear. i can almost touch…
i see his eyes – infinite galaxies with their own beauty and complexities. i fall. again.
i see, in my mind’s eye, a beach. a long sweeping stretch of beach. wet sand, rippled by time and tide, and shimmering beneath our new April moon.
you’re so close now.
i feel my lover’s hand. i feel the long twists of his inquisitive fingers wrap around mine. his hands hold me safe. his hands hold me dear. everything is clear.
my guitar sits alone in another room, momentarily silenced. i found, in her, a new voice. a new tuning. DADGAD. new songs gestate in my womb, in my heart.
i hear the music of summer. i long for summer daze and balmy nights.
i yearn for summer picnics. picnics with my lover, where foxes chance upon us – just like the song. they steal our food and our hearts, but leave us enchanted by their curious dance.
we lie, on a blanket, and watch the beetles. we watch as they scurry and disappear beneath scrub and earth; their wings iridescent and ready.
if i had iridescent wings, i would fly across the water to my lover. i would slip, silently, into bed beside him – leaving my wings upon the floor with discarded clothes and cares.
oh my love… we are infinite. we are fearless and golden.
we must travel. there are places i have yet to see. so many places. i want to see them with you. i want to see them through your eyes and wander.
the night feels heavy. sleep comes now, like a flood. i stand on the shore of a dream and will soon give myself to the breakers.
soon, my love…
(c) Kat McDonald 2015