this heavy weather, oppressive and unsustainable, has me in its clutches. i am shivering, with anticipation of something… something more; something epic; something that will shake my world and clear my head.
something is cracking.
the air, crackling, bristling. my body, tingling. electricity, in the air and in my veins, coursing, shimmering and illuminating.
sparks light up the darkened room. i power down my laptop and look outside. my hands are on fire.
can i harness lightning? dare i?
i go outside, into the night, into the storm, to see…
barefoot, i stand on the warm tarmac. with eyes wide and arms outstretched, i beckon… i summon… i shout your name out.
do you hear me? do you hear my voice through the storm?
awestruck, i watch the light unfurl and blister the gathering skies above me.
flashes of light unfurl, brilliant and sharp as a whip, cut. mercilessly, stabbing the night air with unyielding ferocity.
i gaze up to the infinite sky and watch as it simmers and begins to boil.
where is the rain?
when will this end. i do not want it to end, yet i crave the release from this insurmountable tension and folly.
the air is close. i can see it. particles of white light surround me, float around me. electricity.
this is supernatural. this is exquisite.
i count the seconds between fork and gunshot snare.
i listen as the sky is ripped apart.
i listen as the sky grumbles and bellows above me, straining beneath the weight of this air that engulfs me.
it is not light. it is heavy as night.
i feel the night around me, surrounding me, impounding me.
i reach up and cry out your name, as if summoning a dark magic.
i reach up to the sky and roar, like some crazy woman. my lips tingle. the air is bristling as charged particles of light swim around me.
the sea, no longer melancholy, has company. she is raging, and closing in. i hear her crash and roar and spew forth her exasperation and desire for a quiet life.
and then it happens.
but only for a split second…
i find myself in the eye of the storm. i can no longer breathe. there is no air. i can no longer count. time has been sucked out and sucked off by the vacuum. there is no escape, and it’s beautiful.
spears of jagged light are thrown down from above… they pierce and burn all around me.
time has no place here. time has no purpose. time is a servant.
there is only light and noise, an ear-splitting noise as particles war and destroy angels.
the ground shakes, my body quakes. i remain steadfast and fearless. i dare not weep at the beauty i witness.
i stand barefoot, in my absent lover’s shirt. we were borne of a storm. across the raging sea, he breathes.
do you feel it, my love? do you feel the electricity, connecting you to me?
i hear my heart pound as loud as the thunder that pounds the ground.
oh that sound.
i miss you…
i ache for the sky. the broken sky. that noise. that absolute noise. that beautiful terrifying noise as the sky is ripped wide open as is my beating heart. all i feel is love and exhilaration; awe and collectedness.
and now the rain falls. heavy. a release. i ache for him.
i drink in the rain, feeling it soak my dry bones.
amid the wail of car alarms, i find myself laughing amid tears as i run my hands through my drenched hair…
i smile up at the sky.
and only God knows why…
(c) Kat McDonald 2015
– last night’s storm was epic. i have travelled the world and witnessed storms in far-flung places but i have never witnessed a storm in Scotland such as this. i lost two hours. i lost my mind.