Post-Brexit Thoughts from “An Immigrant”

Hello Followers and Casual Readers…

… I have to share this post written by a beautiful soul I have come to know through Social Media and mutual love of art and animals, floof and sweary words! I have not met the girl… YET… but I am working on it and I am confident that our paths will cross one fine day.
It saddens me to read this entry in her blog TetrisandCheesecakes because NOBODY should be made to feel like this. There is so much hatred in this world and we are all too quick to blame other outlets, such as mental health issues, media, peer-pressure blah blah blah… but really… the only person to blame for ignorance in the way we view and treat others is ourselves and our own blinkered ignorance.
I cannot abide racism. I cannot tolerate it and I will not turn a blind eye to it, but when a lovely girl, like Lucie, writes about the HELL that she has been through in her life only to be met with unfeeling and mindlessness by people in her circle of supposed ‘friends’ it is just too much to bear. NOBODY deserves to be treated like this. she is a human being. a wonderful, intelligent and caring human being.
please read this carefully and digest every word. she could be the girl next door, your brother’s girlfriend, your girlfriend, your daughter…. she’s a woman. a human being. being made to feel like an imposition, an inconvenience, an imposter, a freak, a taker, a faker… is completely immoral, unethical, cruel and ignorant.
next time you look at someone of colour, or converse with someone with a non-UK accent, please consider this: what is their backstory? they could be like Lucie. a good person, who fled from fear and certain death and control (something that privileged British white people cannot even begin to imagine) to a supposed better and safer life – only to be met with judgement, hatred and assumptions – is just insane. insane.
wake the fuck up, humans! #evolve

Tetris & (Cheese)cakes

The past few days haven’t been the easiest. I have seen so many stories of an increase in anti-immigrant sentiment, heartbreaking stories of families and schools being targeted by those who misguidedly thought a vote to leave the EU equalled sending all “foreigners” home. I may be unique amongst my friends as I do know people who voted “Leave” for reasons that didn’t include the immigration issue. They made the decision based on their own feelings and histories, and I really don’t want to detract from that. It’s tragic that though their personal reasons were not have racially motivated, their voices have now given credence to the racists and xenophobes in our country, who have taken their numbers as a sign that hate is justified. 52%. I really want to believe that 52% or Scotland, England, Wales and Northern Ireland aren’t racists, and who want people like me to “go…

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like caged tigers

like caged tigers

like caged tigers…

tonight, more than most, i cannot sleep.

tonight, caged tigers pace inside my head. their roar quickens, deafens – making my heart race against their fire. they are restless. and they are hungry.

tonight, more than most, i cannot sleep.

i am restless, and shaking. the darkness claws at me. my body is in shreds. my heart is bleeding out. and my will is hopelessly and irretrievably lost.

tonight, more than most, i cannot sleep.

tonight, you are so close to me. so close to me. but i cannot reach you.
tonight, you are so close to me, but i cannot reach you. and these tigers are hungry. they need fed.

the tigers roar at me and the darkness mauls. these tigers are hungry. they are restless. i am restless, and shaking. and tonight i can neither sleep, nor reach you.

but here, in this dreamland, you are right next to me, lying naked and still. i cannot sleep. my heart quickens and roars, like hungry caged tigers. you are right next to me, but i cannot reach you. i cannot even reach you through your dreams. and you do dream… i have been there.

the darkness shifts and flickers, like the dying street light outside. like a beacon. is it a warning, or the glow from the burning eyes of the beautiful caged tigers pacing inside my head?

tonight, more than most, i cannot sleep.

i cannot sleep. from inside this dream, i study your face as you lay naked and still beside me. so close to me. and yet i cannot reach you.

i cannot sleep. i watch you. your hair falls, soft. i cannot sleep. your lips. your lips – lips that were once upon a time smashing against mine. i cannot sleep. i want your kiss. i cannot sleep. i cannot sleep. i cannot sleep. i want you. i want your kiss. i want more. i cannot sleep. i want to kiss you. i want to leave my scent on your lips. but my fingers will not let me. my fingers stay pressed hard against my lips. i cannot reach you.

oh but i want to… but i cannot. so i close my eyes to study your face. the curl and curve of your mouth, tempered – only slightly – by sleep. i cannot sleep. damn your mocking mouth. mocking lips, lips that i adore. lips i want to maul for hours. i am hungry. i am restless and shaking. those tigers will not be silenced, or abated. they are wild, and they are raging. they pace, to the pace of my quickening heart.

those pretty blue eyes sleep. even in sleep they possess extraordinary and insurmountable beauty. those blue eyes lost in their dream. and you do dream… i watch you dream. i have watched you from behind those blue eyes, from inside your dream.  i have watched your mouth and your eyes flit behind closed doors. i want to kiss those eyes.  from inside your dream i have watched your body resolve, and the curl of your fist unfurl. i have watched your chest rise and fall behind the clutch of your self-embracing, self-protective shape. i have watched the little boy sleep. but tonight, i cannot.

my unsleeping state is fevered, fearsome and ferocious. like caged tigers that roar and savage my brain. i cannot sleep. you are so close, but i cannot reach you. i cannot sleep. but i want your kiss. again.  i want you to kiss me again. and again. and again. and again. and….

i cannot sleep. i see you naked and crave to have your scent in my hair, with such intoxicating intensity that i will still smell you in the hours that follow. i will not wash, so i may then pleasure myself on your scent alone – long after these moments have gone.  but tonight, these caged tigers are hungry. they are frenzied. and outside the darkness roars, gnawing at my bones… i cannot fight it. i am exhausted… i cannot sleep.

nor do i want to sleep.

tonight, i cannot reach you. but you are so close. naked. still. tonight i want to slip into your dream, and be part of you.  tonight i want to nestle into you, mirror your shape.  tonight i want to hold you, and unfold you. but i cannot reach you.

i cannot sleep. i visualise, study your face, and inhale you.  my fingers are flames. i cannot sleep. i want to slip into your dreams. i want to slip under that cover and drink you in. i am thirsty. my mouth is dry. i cannot sleep. i just want to slip under your skin.

i cannot sleep. i want those kisses. those beautiful stolen kisses and collisions that first smashed my circadian rhythm. i want… i want… and you know what i want. i cannot sleep. i want to fuck. i want you, and i want you alone. i want your mouth. i cannot sleep. i want to fuck. my fingers are telepathic. i need that mouth. i want that mouth. i want my fingers…  i want the smell of your sex to veil me. i cannot sleep. you are so close and yet so far away. this distance – so close. i want your taste in my mouth. i cannot sleep. i want to fuck. i am restless and shaking. i pace, like a caged and savage tiger… my mind is racing, i am pacing. my eyes see more than they should… i prey. i pray for you to wake up… i want my taste in my mouth. i suck my fingers. almost… shall i come to you? i want to… shall i wake you? i want to. but if i do, we will never sleep again. i want your hips raging against mine. i cannot sleep. i want to be at your mercy. i am, already, there. i am restless, and shaking. i want to fuck.

i cannot sleep. i want to fuck. i cannot sleep. i am restless, like these beautiful caged tigers.

i must set them free…